Elisha, Limited

One of the major points of IOWL is limiting beliefs, how things you believe, that you might not even know you believe, can hold you back from achieving what you really want. I listened to an episode the other day where Renee (the host) was talking about the limiting belief that you can have only one thing or another, but not both, and it got me thinking. I've come across a couple of limiting beliefs that I hadn't realized before.

(These are reframed into positive statements, obviously.)

1. I can BOTH be slim and healthy AND be connected to my family and friends.

One of my worst eating/binging/out of control times is dinner time, or really, any time that I am at my parents' house. Evenings and weekends especially are especially hard. (Breakfast doesn't usually pose to much of a problem during the week, because I have limited time, and I'm usually trying to "be good" for the day.)

In addition to that, all of our family get-togethers--celebrations, whatever--revolve around food. Hey, we've got nothing to do this weekend, let's have a cookout! Hey, there's a horse race on TV, let's stuff ourselves! It's even that way with my friends. I haven't seen you for a while, how about we go out to lunch? I need to talk to you, can we meet up for dinner?

I feel like my whole life is based around food. And that's not a good thing.
But the thing is, just because there's always food does NOT mean I always have to overeat, or that I have to eat unhealthy foods. But I do anyway.

There's a block in me that's saying, "I can't eat healthy because my family won't eat healthy." Well, it is true that they have told me that they do not want to eat a diet that is as healthy as the ideal diet I have in my head. (The fact that I don't eat that diet either is irrelevant, because this is my excuse for that.) They have told me that they do not want to exercise as much as I want to, they don't want to participate in the activities that I want to participate in. They are not willing to change their eating habits for me.

But they don't control me. They're not forcing food into my mouth. I even buy most of the groceries and do a good deal of the cooking. If I cooked healthy food, they would eat it. They are not against healthy food, they just don't want to give up their non-healthy food. And they do support me, at least verbally.

The other part of it is, I really want to encourage them to be healthy too. How can I do that if I use their unhealthy habits as an excuse for me not to have healthy habits? I'm contradicting myself.

But I feel like the unhealthy one in the family. I've always been the fat one, the one who eats too much. Yes, most of the rest of my family is overweight too, but I'm the worse. I weigh more than my dad, more than my mom, and certainly more than everybody else, and by a fair amount. That's my role in the family, the fat one. Who am I if I'm not fat? Where do I fit in? How do I relate to them?

I have to change my belief. I have to believe that it IS possible for me to be healthy AND relate to my family and friends. I just need to find some way to relate other than through food.

2. I can BOTH be slim and healthy AND eat delicious food.

I have a love-hate relationship with food. Mostly love. I love recipes, I love cooking, I love smelling and tasting and seeing food. I just love food. I love the way it feels in my mouth. I love the anticipation of eating. So I guess the "hate" part of "love-hate" is just for me: I hate myself for eating unhealthy foods I know I shouldn't eat.

Especially now that I'm considering cooking as an income stream, I am uncertain of how that is going to affect my diet. Logically, I know it could go either way. If I'm cooking healthy meals for other people, that will encourage me to cook and eat those healthy meals for myself. But what if the people I'm cooking for don't want healthy meals, or at least not my definition of healthy? What do I do then? How do I do research on recipes and cooking techniques and so forth without eating anything unhealthy?

And although I know this part of the logic is flawed, but if I do adopt a healthy diet, does that mean I'll never again be able to eat the unhealthy foods I love now? What about my chicken alfredo and garlic toast and pizza and tiramisu? How do I just write them out of my life? I know that tastes change, and I really do like healthy foods, but how do I change my tastes to not even like or want the foods I enjoy now?